MUM: didn’t I tell you that if a guy touches your ASS, say DON’T.
And if he touches your BOOBS say STOP!
GIRL: But mum, he touched both so i said: DON’T STOP…!!!
Sex is math:
Add 2 bodies,
Subtract the clothes,
Divide the legs and multiply!!!
LITTLE GIRL: Mommy, I just found out that
our neighbor’s son has a penis like a peanut!
MUM: You mean it’s small?
LITTLE GIRL: No it’s salty!!!
A couple recently married was happy with the whole thing.
He was happy with the hole, and she was happy with the thing.
Latest Statistics: What men do after sex?
2% eat.
3% smoke cigarettes.
4% take shower.
5% go to sleep.
86% get up and go back home to their wives.
What is a KISS?
It’s an upper PREPARATION for a lower INVASION
that will lead to further PENETRATION with fast ACCELERATION
that will build next GENERATION.
A man was carrying 3 babies in a train.
The lady sitting next to him asked
Are they your babies?
MAN: No, I work in a condom factory and these are customer COMPLAINTS.
Women top 5 lies:
5. I am a virgin.
4. It is so big.
3. I can’t do that to my best friend.
2. I won’t gain weight after marriage.
1. I am coming I am coming!!!
Why is your dick better than a credit card?
1. Once spent it it recharges itself.
2. It is accepted worldwide.
3. You can let your wife use it as much as she wants.
A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says: You want to play magic?
She says: What is that?
He says: We go Home, Fuck, and then you disappear.
What is the closest thing to a woman period?
Your SALARY…
It comes once a month, lasts 4 or 5 days,
and if it doesn’t come, you are FUCKED!!!
